Police recently responded to a call from B&Q’s Westcliff On Sea branch after a man was seen “having a poo” in a display toilet.
According to reports, witnesses spotted the man defecating into the toilet which was part of a display. Clearly not hooked up to the mains, a group of young children also bore witness to the incident.
Southend News Network reported an account from a witness at the scene. Barry White described: “A young male started acting strangely and shuffling around on the spot in front of the dado rails, when suddenly he shouted and ran towards the bathroom display area while unbuckling his trousers.”
“From the cry of relief that he emitted, it’s clear that he was suffering from a ‘shart’ – this is when flatulence develops further beyond the point of mere gases.”
“The poor fellow was clearly pushed over the precipice on this occasion, and the worst part was when he tried to flush and the cistern just made a dry clunking noise.”
“I’m not sure how he didn’t realise that it wasn’t a real toilet.”
“He had to tear off a ‘Buy Now Pay Later’ garland that was holding the seat and lid together.”
Essex police were called to the scene. A spokesperson for the force stated, “Officers attended the incident and reminded store management about the need for clear customer convenience signage in all areas.”
So come on then guys, which one of you was it? Make sure you let a friend know about this in the comments below.